How to Know if You’re an Empath and How to Function as One
Pretty much anyone can be empathetic, but few are actually empathic.
I was listening to a course on marketing when my brain flagged something they said. They made a point about needing to be an empathic marketer - what they should’ve said is empathetic. Years ago, I couldn’t have told you the difference between being empathetic and empathic. In fact, I’d never even heard of the term “empath.”
Here’s a simple way to differentiate between the two:
Empathetic = putting yourself in another’s shoes, understanding how they feel.
Empathic = literally feeling their emotions and even absorbing them (often unknowingly).
I still remember the day a friend looked at me and said, “You know you’re an empath, right?” Nope, I had no idea, and when I found out what an empath is, it was like the lightbulb came on and a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. So, I wasn’t just “overdramatic,” “overly sensitive,” or “crazy” for feeling emotions so intensely - all of which I was accused of being.
According to Dr. Judith Orloff, empaths are highly sensitive individuals who absorb the world’s stress, emotions, and energy. 5 signs that you’re an empath include:
You don’t just notice people’s emotions; you absorb them, and your emotional state is easily influenced by the people around you.
You feel drained (not tired, but depleted) after emotional conversations or being around intense personalities.
You take on responsibility for other people’s emotions by trying to fix how they feel or feeling guilty if they’re upset.
You need alone time to “reset” (not just rest), especially after being around crowds or a group of people.
You can sense what’s going on beneath the surface. You often pick up on unspoken tension, emotional undercurrents, or what someone is really feeling even when they haven’t said anything.
Do any of these resonate with you or remind you of someone you know?
The five core characteristics of being an empath are:
emotional absorption
high sensitivity
deep intuition (especially clairsentience)
a need for solitude
a need for being in nature.
As empaths, whenever we suddenly feel anxious, angry, stressed, or sad, we might often ask ourselves, “What is wrong with me?” The question we always need to be asking is, “Is this mine?” When we ask if it’s ours, we may even sense who it’s actually coming from. Ah, this road rage is from a driver I passed. This anxiety is from my pet. This frustration is from my family member.
I remember walking through a big box store, and all of a sudden I was overwhelmed with anxiety. I looked around wondering who it belonged to. My attention was directed to a guy’s photo that was on a promotional banner. I realized it was his energy that I was feeling so intensely. It really surprised me that I could feel someone’s energy like that through a picture. To be fair, it was when my intuitive gifts were opening up, and I think my guides were trying to make a point that the person didn’t have to be right in front of me, that we could connect over distance.
Whether we know who the energy belongs to or not, what do we do with the emotional energy that isn’t even ours? Something that has worked exceptionally well for me is that I say, with intent, “Anything that is not mine, I send back to Source now.” You can replace “Source” with “God,” “Universe,” or whatever higher being you feel most comfortable with. I always feel a shift and/or release when I’ve absorbed someone else’s energy and state that intent.
Sometimes I will envision a clearing energy that comes down through my head, down my body, and out my feet. I find I tend to use it mostly when I’m driving and suddenly become overwhelmed by an emotional response.
Once, when I was overly saturated, I sat underneath a waterfall. It was the dry season, and the water had dwindled down enough that I could sit under it without being knocked over. I came out feeling renewed. Some people I worked with at the time commented that they noticed a huge difference in my energy.
As empaths, nature is a non-negotiable. It’s how we reset. Just spending time amongst the trees, walking barefoot on the ground, or taking a swim in a spring, lake, or ocean can be so nourishing for us. If I don’t get out into nature daily, I feel it. My body is way more tense, and I’ll often feel anxiety. It’s hard to feel centered, and I’ll easily go into overwhelm. Nature is an empath's best friend.
Now, what do we do about feeling responsible for other people’s feelings? We tend to feel responsible for how others feel because their anger, sorrow, despair, or stress can feel really uncomfortable to us. That's partly why many of us are people pleasers. It's important for us to understand that how others feel is solely their responsibility - not ours. It's up to each of us to manage our own emotions.
If you find yourself shifting into trying to make others feel better, stop yourself, take a deep breath, and affirm with intent that "I am only in charge of my own feelings. The other person is responsible for their own feelings." This might feel uncomfortable at first, but once you get used to it, it's actually quite liberating.
If I had a quarter for every time I was told to toughen up... 💰 We don’t need a thicker skin; in fact, it’s pretty tough to even do. What we do need are better energetic boundaries.
I do not watch horror movies, as they make me feel physically ill. I stopped watching the news years ago and feel more peaceful. I set time limits on conversations, as anything over an hour leaves me feeling depleted. I’m mindful of checking if I’ve taken on others’ energy and then clearing it. I get out in nature to replenish myself. I slip away from crowded events and find a quiet place to rest for 20 minutes or so. If you’re an empath, how do you create and maintain your energetic boundaries?
One last thing I’d like to comment on is something many may not be aware of, and that is cording. When I work with empaths in clearing sessions, I tend to see cording and chakra linking. Cords are energetic connections between you and someone else. Chakra linking is a type of cording that goes directly to your chakra from someone else’s. Most cording is done subconsciously - meaning we’re not aware that we cord one another.
When you’re corded, you have an exchange of energy between you and whomever corded you, which means you can be impacted by their heavier energies. It’s not uncommon to be corded multiple times by someone.
Over time, absorbed energy, emotional residue, and energetic attachments can accumulate in your system, impacting you emotionally, energetically, and physically. In my Energetic Clearing for Empaths sessions, we locate and remove those cords, chakra links, and other energetic connections - virtually, from the comfort of your own home. I’m passionate about helping empaths with the deeper energetic clearings that we need from time to time as part of our self-care and the maintenance of our energetic boundaries.
If you consider yourself an empath, reach out. I love connecting with others. If you suspect someone is an empath, forward them this post. I know my life would’ve been quite a bit less intense if I’d understood early on that I was an empath, what that meant, and how I could better function.
Heart Hugs, Adrienne
