Redefining Failure
"One fails forward toward success." — C. S. Lewis
I know this will be a sweeping generalization, but I have to come to find that oftentimes when men fail, they chalk it up as a failure and move on. But when women fail, they have a tendency to embody that failure. Men tend to look toward the external as to why something failed, whereas women will internalize it.
I know this was the case for me. I had created my first course. The beta went really well, and then when I launched - crickets. I felt so disheartened. I truly felt that not only was the course a failure, but so was I. Sadly, I gave up on it and moved on to something else.
Over the years since I created the course, I've come to realize a few important things:
I had to redefine failure. My course didn't fail; my launch did. It gave me a lot to learn from. Even though I ran ads, I didn't know how to message and market it properly.
The only way I truly failed was that I gave up on it too soon. Instead of trying to tweak my ads, look at my messaging, and figure out what wasn't working, I simply turned my back on it thinking it was hopeless. I only gave it one shot.
I had to separate the failure from myself. Just because it failed didn't mean I was a failure. Just because things didn't work out the way I wanted or hoped didn't make me the embodiment of failure. To be honest, this was a struggle because I'd gone so far as to take on failure as an identity: "I'm a failure."
I had conflictive monetary beliefs - due to the nature of the course, it's a higher-ticket product, but my own limiting money beliefs were getting in the way. I began to assume that people couldn't or wouldn't pay for it. I've since learned to never assume someone else's financial situation. If they see the value, they'll come up with the money.
I should've visualized its success instead of hope for the best. I should have done some feelingizations where I visualized and felt into the success of my course, as well as the impact and shifts for the students.
As a society, we're so focused on success that we don't allow room for failure. We see failure as unacceptable. This has to stop. Failure is simply feedback. When you fail, you figure out what didn't work, what it taught you, and what you can try that will lead you to success. When a baby is learning to walk and it falls over and over - do we say, "Give up! You're a failure!"? No, we encourage the child to keep going.
If you are someone who struggles with failure, I encourage you to redefine it as a learning opportunity. View it as something you simply haven't figured out yet. Or consider it as a way something doesn't work and go from there. I also invite you to take a deeper look to see if you're internalizing failure. You'll be clued in by the thoughts you think. "I failed." "I'm the failure." "Of course, I failed." "It's my fault." If you are internalizing failure, then there's some inner work that needs to be done.
Remember: failure is simply feedback and a stepping stone; it's not a final destination.
*If you identify with failure or really struggle with it, I invite you to consider an Inner Shift session where we address and clear the limiting and subconscious beliefs you hold around failure.
To your inner growth & success,
Adrienne
