When You're Feeling Stuck & Can't See A Way Out

Have you ever felt stuck? I’m talking about the quicksand kind of stuck. Where you feel like no matter how much you try to get yourself out of it, you just sink deeper in. You see other people walking along the path happily heading to where they want to be going and you’re just there - stuck. Maybe you’re stuck in a job you hate, stuck in debt, stuck in an unhappy relationship, stuck being single, or stuck in depression. Whatever it is, you feel like you can’t get out of the cycle. You’ve probably tried or are still trying, yet you feel like you’re just spinning your wheels. Does this sound familiar?

Going back to the quicksand example, you might be waiting for someone to pull you out. You might already be resigned to this being your fate and that’s where you’re going to stay. The mere idea of getting out and back onto the path you want to go down can seem overwhelming or even downright impossible. The more you struggle and resist, the deeper and faster you sink. You might even start telling yourself that it’s just how life is going to be for you. Or, maybe, the voice in your head has convinced you that the Universe doesn’t care about you because  you’re not lovable or worthy or acceptable enough to be on the path leading to your dreams, to the life you really want. 

When you intend to get unstuck, the Universe will throw you a line - it may come in the form of a branch, a rope, a hiking pole, or maybe another person. Where you have to be careful is how you judge the form the help comes in. If you think that a branch won’t pull you out, you may end up ignoring it and feeling upset that this wasn’t the help you expected - the help you so desperately prayed for. You might be waiting for a superhero to come and rescue you. Unlike how the fairy tales and comic books assured us, the likelihood of that is pretty low. In truth, you have to be your own superhero. You have to save yourself. You have to use your inner strength, wisdom, and determination to use the tools at your disposal to get yourself unstuck. 

Usually when we feel stuck, we think it’s because of our circumstances - that it’s due to what’s going on outside of us. While the external can be a contributing factor, it’s more about what’s going on internally. It comes down to the thoughts we’re thinking, the perspectives we hold - how we see life, as well as the stories we’re telling ourselves. If you feel like you’re not worthy of more in your life, you’ll stay stuck. If you feel like life hates you and you hate it right back, you’ll stay stuck. If you continually beat yourself up for getting stuck in the first place and not getting out, you’ll stay stuck. If you feel you suck at life, you’ll stay stuck. If you feel like the odds are stacked against you and there’s nothing you can do about it, you’ll stay stuck. If you feel like your dreams are impossible for someone like you, you’ll stay stuck. If you believe what other people tell you about how you should just stay where you are or that you can’t change, guess what? You’ll stay stuck. 

Just as it takes small movements to free yourself from quicksand, it takes small action steps to free yourself from your cycle of stuckness. Not sure where to start? Here are some ideas:

• Acknowledge where you are - ok, you’re stuck. You have to know where you are to know where you’re going.

• So, where is it you want to go? What is it that you want in your life? Figure out what you want and why you want it. 

• Decide that you’re going to do it no matter what. No matter what your critical inner voice says, no matter what anyone else says. In fact, see if you can find someone who is genuinely willing to cheer you on. 

• Keep yourself determined even when it feels like you’re not getting very far very fast. 

• Try to figure out what story or stories you’ve been telling yourself that have kept you stuck. Create a more empowering story and start leaning into that one.

• Look for and use tools that will help you towards your dream. 

• Visualize your success. You need to see and feel in your body that you’ve achieved what you’re wanting. This isn’t a one-off. Do it consistently.

• Take some small action step daily or a couple of times a week that will move you towards what you want for your life.

Just as it’s possible to free yourself from quicksand, it’s also very possible to get out of your stuckness and back onto the path of the life you dream of. Back onto a path of the life you choose to live. If that's you, know that I'm cheering you on!

Heart hugs, Adrienne :)